Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Remembering

Most of you probably won't remember my post from last year, but it was one year ago on Saturday when I lost my best friend, Jake. He was my best friend since our senior year of high school and the best man in my wedding. To say it's been a tough year is an understatement. It's been downright awful. Especially since my other best friend died in 2005.

I spent the year fairly depressed, fighting medical problems, getting my gallbladder removed, and just in an overall bad mood. I've been told the first anniversary of someone's death is the toughest, and I honestly think it's true. I feel better now that it's passed, but I still miss him.

Jake was never much of a fisherman. We would go with spinning rods for bass and bluegill when we were in our 20s. It usually involved us both getting drunk, and me making half-assed attempts to fish while he took in (and smoked) all the lush greenery around him while sitting on the ground playing his guitar.
About 5 years ago, we decided to start a tradition of getting up on opening day, getting drunk, and trying to catch fish. Well, it only lasted that year. Jake wound up almost falling off a cliff into a 20 foot hole in 30 degree weather. I hate to admit it, but I was laughing my ass off seeing him scale a rock and avoid freezing to death.

2 weeks before he died, I talked him into trying fly fishing. I love the sport so much and I thought that if I could get him to appreciate it, he'd get into it too. He had recently separated from his wife and I thought he could use a release. I stayed up til 3am the night before we were supposed to go, and I filled a small fly box with about 40 flies for him. That next morning, something came up and he couldn't go fishing. Little did I know, we'd never have the chance to fish again.

When Saturday rolled around I had him on my mind all day.  I was tying a few flies in the morning and I came across the small fly box I was going to give him. I had re-purposed all the flies into my boxes when he said he couldn't go, but there was still a brassie I missed sitting in there. My wife didn't even hesitate when I told her I was going fishing. She understood and told me to just go.

I fishing for a while and picked up a fish on my meal worm pattern. Then they seemed to shut off.  It was getting dark and I figured "what the hell?" so I threw on the brassie. It picked up a fish on the 2nd cast. I'm not a religious person, but I think it was him giving me a nod.



RIP brother. I miss you.

16 comments:

  1. I'm a fairly new follower. Yeah losing someone is hard! I guess the fortunate thing for me is that the first death I ever had to deal with was the tragic pedestrian hit and run death of an older cousin who I considered a hero. It's fortunate because no other death has come close to the loss I felt when I was 15. He was 19 at the time. I still can't believe I'm 15 years older than he ever was. He was the most amazing person, he could effortlessly out-perform you at anything you'd ever attempt. I still think about him often.

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    1. Sorry man. That must have been rough. I feel the same way about Jake. He was a lawyer, and the smartest person I've ever met. I remember in High School, the Political Science teacher would get so mad at him, because Jake would always prove him wrong.

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  2. Nice way to celebrate your friend's life. My condolences buddy.

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  3. Good to celebrate life, Mike. Very nice post and rememberance. Thanks for sharing your heart with us.

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    1. Thanks Dean. BTW..Jen from FlyFishalicious was looking for bloggers in MA for some unknown reason. I sent her your way.

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    2. Thanks, Mike. I'll reach out to her.

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  4. Sorry to hear about your friend. Sounds like you have some good memories though.

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    1. oh yes, quite a few. Most would be too incriminating to post on here though :)

      Thanks

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  5. Mike, being a new follower to your blog, I would just like to share my condolences also. Glad you were able to find some peace in catching that fish on the Brassie.

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    1. Thanks. Not really peace. Just a little indication that he might be in a better place now.

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  6. Thanks for sharing your story. It's always nice to read a heartfelt post from a fellow blogger. It's good that you're a seasoned fly fisher... you already know the secret: fly fishing is the world's best therapy.

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  7. Fish on with the memories....they never go away.

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